


If you love me won't you let me know?

by ShariDeschain



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Dick!Bat Era, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 13:16:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13167705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShariDeschain/pseuds/ShariDeschain
Summary: "I love you.""So what?"





	If you love me won't you let me know?

It had slipped out of his mouth so easily that Dick had no time to think about what he was saying, or to wonder if it was this the right moment to say it, or if Damian would’ve even wanted to hear it, now or at any other given time. What he knew, both _before_ and _after_ saying it, was that it was true. Painfully, surprisingly, wonderfully true.

The cause of this fight had been the same of all the past fights since the night Dick had handed over a new Robin suit to the kid. Two months had passed by now, and despite all their progress one bad patrol would still take both of them right back at the first one.

_Because I care about you_ , Dick had said this time, when Damian had asked him why he had to be such an asshole about rules and limits and lines that should not be crossed. And then, for the first time, he had added: _Because I love you._

And he didn’t know what he was expecting in response to that, how he thought the child would react to those words, but what he definitely wasn’t expecting was Damian to look up at him, angrier than ever, only to ask him:

“So what?”

“ _So what?_ ”, Dick repeated, astonished.

“So what, if you love me?”, Damian had yelled to his face. “I know how it works. I know you only love me when I obey you, that you only care for me as long as I do what you want!”

And it was painful to have something like that being thrown at him, but it hurt a little more to know that a long time ago Dick thought the same things and made the same accusation to the same person that would’ve heard it again tonight, if only Dick had not taken his place.

So he shut his eyes for a moment and tried not to break into hysterical laughter.

“No. No, that’s not true. I’m not your-”, _I’m not your mother_ , he was going to say, but who was Dick to say that? To confirm Damian’s words? To shatter away whatever illusion the boy may still have about Talia and his love for him?

So he stopped, but Damian looked at him with an hard glare, and Dick had the clear impression that the boy had heard the unspoken words anyway.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-”, he stumbled to find the right words, but they refused to come to him. “I didn’t mean it like that. What I meant is that I don’t love you like that.”

“Then you don’t love me at all”, Damian stated, always so very confident of his vision of the world. “And you don’t have to, like _he_ didn’t have to. I don’t care.”

It was hard to believe such a declaration of indifference when it came with tears and a choked voice. When it came from family.

“He would’ve loved you”, Dick said instead. “He already loved you, whether you believe it or not. And I love you too, just like he did. For what you can be, yes, but also for what you are, and even for what you used to be.”

Damian’s red-rimmed eyes were worth more than a million words of disbelief, and Dick didn’t know how to fix that, didn’t know if _that_ could be fixed at all, not with Bruce gone and only the remnants of what it used to be family around them.

He reached out to offer comfort with his actions along with his words, and Damian pulled back like he thought Dick’s hands were going to burn him. They stared at each other then, and there were so many words, so many levels of incomprehension between them, that for a moment Dick thought about reacting like Damian had, and start screaming out his frustration at the kid. But he knew he couldn’t do that anymore. He was no longer allowed to be the one who could leave and slam the door behind him. That was Damian’s prerogative, now.

And the kid did exactly so, leaving Dick alone in the batcave, surrounded by ghosts of ill expressed good intentions.

“And one day you’ll believe me too, kiddo”, Dick promised with a sigh.

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr prompt](https://unavenged-robin.tumblr.com/post/168891869363/dick-and-damian-with-im-sorry-i-didnt-mean)


End file.
